What if this is all a dream?
Have you ever wondered to yourself if all this a dream? A dream that you don’t know if you want to be awaked from, a dream that you are not sure of; yet you are too afraid to wake up because you are uncertain of the ending. I sometimes think to myself, out of all the things I have done in my life, what was the one thing that I have done right. If I can consider myself as being successful now, then I would found the only thing I did right in my life was by fucking up my life before. Without that particular mistake, I would have never had to endure all the hardness and I would never have developed into ‘me’ today. That would be the positive way of looking at it, but what if I didn’t messed up before, will I be more successful than I am today? That is an unknown.
I guess I am typing this crap this moment, is because I am at a cross road in which I was at before. Last time, I chose the path that costed me dearly. Even though, the path I chose costed me but I never considered it a ‘wrong’ option. I always considered myself a man who can take his loss, I make mistakes but they are different to being ‘wrong’. Making a mistake is sometimes necessary even though it is certainly not the best option but what if it is only option?
I wish all this was a dream, I wish I never had to make the decisions, I wish, I wish, I wish …
I wish for a lot of things, just like all you guys do. I wish I never grew up, but then that I wouldn’t be the man I am today. But, sometimes, just for a little while I just want to be the kid who once said his mother, “I don’t want to be rich.” Sometimes I wish I can find that kid once more, a kid who had no worries… 
then, now
我小時候的時候只想要快樂
我國中卻發現金錢比快樂有用
我上大學的時候想著我以後的事業
我一直相信在30歲之前我都有本錢失敗
但是 我現在知道了我為什麼沒去那
是因為我其實一點都不想輸
句 句 凉 的 彻 底
句 句 凉 的 彻 底
by 别说我堕落，因为我从没振作 on Thursday, 30 September 2010 at 16:06
1、现实太假，还是自己太傻？
2、习惯了你的冷漠，突然的关心会让我不知所措！
3、也许是我不够成熟，但也或许是因为你太年轻…
4、轻轻地、不想打扰你。可惜还是碰到了让我伤痛的记忆！
5、留在你的身边，我的生命就只有一种可能，那就是痛苦。但是离开了你，我的生命就有一万种可能!
6、流金的岁月，似水的年华，伴随着你的离去，我葬送了我的岁月年华，你懂吗？
7、我弱小的心灵，承受不了你狂风暴雨般的爱。
8、在我心底深处，有你意想不到的痛，到底还能撑多久，依旧保持我最坚强的微笑。
9、心痛的声音，你听不到，愚昧的我还在等什么呢？
10、世界太大还是遇见你，世界太小还是丢了你。
11、闭上眼，我看到了你的无所谓
12、不是我不在乎你，而是你所谓的在乎让我承受不起…
13、在这个世界上，没有人值得我哭，因为值得我哭的人，不会让我哭。
14、如果有一天，你说你想我了，我会对你说：晚了…
15、你给的承诺就像星星一样，那么多，但是我永远也得不到！
16、人生最珍贵的两个字，就是“饶恕”！
17、心里的地方就只有那么大，有人进来就必定有人要离开！
18、人生太漫长，你只不过是一道风景！
19、生活中有很多东西，不是得到就是失去。也许我失去的很多，但必有所得！
20、活着的意义，不是说：“对不起”，而是说：“没关系”。
21、爱情就像烟花的绽放，再美丽也是一瞬间的华彩。
22、如果有一天，我死了，那我一定是化成了风，永远陪在你身边！
23、如果你注定不能给予我期待的回应，那么我们还是保持在安全的距离之外吧！
24、那些伤太美，使我不肯放下，以至于微笑也那么疼！
25、我开始喜欢最初的自己，那时候没有伤，不会哭泣！
26、自由代表的是内心永久的孤独。
27、离开你，我不会哭，因为你不配…
28、一切因为寂寞，才开始了暧昧。
29、生活的真正意义是：生下来，活下去。
30、年龄不是差距，身高不是距离。
31、人生是一张单程车票，没有后退，没有返回！
32、虽然有时候我会心痛，但是我却拥有别人不曾拥有的幸福，所以我知足了！
33、在爱与被爱的选择里，我选择了被爱，错、又能如何？
34、在你的世界，没有我的存在，所以你感受不到我内心深处的苍桑！
35、滚吧，带上我最后的慈善，滚回你高尚的世界去吧。
36、心若没有栖悉的地方，到哪里都是流浪。
37、无论何时，无论何地，只要你需要我，我就会永远陪在你身边。
38、全世界都可以不理我，只有你不可以。
39、深深地拥入你的怀里，紧紧地贴在你的胸口，静静地聆听你心跳的声音！
40、请不要再来破坏我内心唯一的一丝平静，我只想守住这平静，静静的看着你。
[ 转自铁血社区 http://bbs.tiexue.net/ ]
I am tired. Tired. Taken and captured within my thought. Being pensive is overrated, being understanding is bullshit and how I wish I could be naive. As I grew older, I am becoming less happy. Growing up is an inevitable process, in theory the increase in age ensures a higher probability of a positive growth in wisdom.
It is funny how people wish they got something that they don’t have, it is sad these days when you hear more criticisms than praises. It is fuck up when people who say things that they don’t even understand, when people comment on things that they don’t know yet they still give their opinions freely. I wanted to ask them if they have thought about what they are saying? Or if there is any value to what they are saying?
Just because a person is older, doesn’t make him/her right. Wisdom should have been developed with age, but I find most of the time what we call ‘wisdom’ is just another fancy word for ignorance. I don’t want to hear excuses, I understand that this world is harsh to the weak. This world is savage and harsh, there is no God I wish there was one. But there isn’t one. I hate people who find excuses every time they fuck up, but I hate people who pass on judgements when they never even tried, guess what? at least those failures gave their best shot, who are you to talk? I don’t want to hear a mommy’s boy, who never worked outside his mommy’s shop to tell me how to run my life. Because a failure I may be but this race is not over yet. There comes a time when one has to decide to turn to the next page or close the book, and difference between you and I, is I turn to the next page and you closed the book. I am better than you, it is an opinion – my opinion, but I will make it a fact one day. One day, not today, not tomorrow but soon, because I have been working towards that moment since one day. I will silence your criticisms with my success and I will sure how small you really are.
sometimes
Sometimes, just once in a while, you ask yourself… why do you put up with all these shit? I asked myself that question a few moments ago. I don’t know, sometimes I wonder to myself as to why I put up with all the shit they have created and still creating. Sometimes, just sometimes, what you know gives you the edge over the majority may be of a hindrance to you.
Not a whole lot of times, but sometimes I wish I am not as privileged as I am, because it normally comes with a price. Don’t you agree?
When one doesn’t notice…
Yesterday I was both surprised and ashamed. I was both surprised at how wrong I was about people in general, and terribly ashamed of myself. Two independent events occurred yesterday, 1. I saw an elder brother helping his younger mentally disable brother 2. I lost my temper while with some friends.
I was touched, I saw a boy who can’t be older than 14 years old helping and calming his brother who is clearly handicapped mentally. They were about to get on the tram but his brother got scared and stepped out of the tram. The older brother went to him and took his hand to calm him, eventually they got off the tram because the brother who is handicapped was really frighten for an unknown reason to me. I noticed that during the trip, the brother never let go of his brother’s hand, it was the smallest gesture between brothers but perhaps it was the truest and the purest. I was touched because for a 14 years old teenager to do such thing and not have cared who was staring at him -especially the looks shot at him from the girls in his same age on the tram was brave. To the teenagers who imitated his brother in a ridicule manner- shame on you.
Secondly, last night I was playing some games with some mates of mine. I was ashamed because I lost my temper (even just for a few minutes), I was frustrated and annoyed at how slow some of them were. I was angry because they were slow to catch onto the game and slow when it was their turns. Something snapped in me and when I got home I realised that I have lost something that I once pride myself with – my patience. I have lost my patience towards the others, and for that I was and still am ashamed.
Everyday people walking by thinking that they are fine the way they are, we are wrong. Sometimes the smallest gesture made by someone can touch people’s heart and sometimes a quality which we thought we had may change and be altered through time. I learnt that lesson yesterday, and indeed it was a lesson – the things we don’t notice is usually the most important things.
When a lion roars
Last night I was bored, my boredom led to me thinking on things that I have not for a long time- my future. It was by pure coincidence that I saw a man digging through gabbage while I was on my way back home from my daily jog. He looked middle aged, and reasonably presentable for a homeless. I noticed him because he stood out from my rememberance of homeless. First of all, he was presentable in a way, he didn’t smell too bad and he was relatively clean and neat, but what made me take a second look at him, was the expression of defeat. His facial expression showed me a man whom has had the last hope squeezed out of him- a sense of hopelessness. That grey hair of his suggested that he may have been a fairly wise man if not intelligent.
I walked away after my brief observation of the man. I really wanted to go home since it was freezing last night in Melbourne. After my long hot shower and feasting on my home made pancakes, strangely I found myself wondering to myself about the man I saw earlier. I found myself wanting to know what could have made him to hopeless, as if he was in his last round in a fight. It was sad, like a withering rose. There was no joy, only the acceptance of defeat.
‘Defeat’- is it really so bad? I asked myself that last night, I don’t really know. How would or should one measure such abstract term. What is defeat? One man’s defeat may just be a fall back for others. I guess success is not measured by how much one has achieved but rather by how much one can put off defeat. People should not accept defeat, for it would end their fighting spirits, when one is feeling tired or lost they should remember the energy and fierceness of a lion just like when a lion roars.
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Does it really matter?
A friend begged me to lend him some money and I did, because he moved me. I don’t lend people money usually, especially him because I just don’t trust him… but I did this time. I bought him a ticket to Boston, yes I am broke now until he comes back and pay me. His gf dumped him via a call all the way in Boston so being an idiot he flew all the way there just to see if he can get her back. It is all very touching, but seriously! that has to be the dumbest fucking thing to do, however, he did moved me with his determination but made me sick with his stupidity.
I don’t know why I helped him because logic tells me it is a waste of trip, don’t get me wrong, I am happy to lend him the money it is not my money he is wasting in the end. Yea, sure he can come back here and tell me he has done his best and it didn’t work out, but at what cost? The actual cost comes to 1700 dollars alone on the ticket, not to mention the money he spends over there, the time he wasted. I think I would have done the same thing as him before, but not now that I am older. It all sounds very romantic but it is really pretty retarded. The fact is the girl is going to cheat, if she cheated before, she will cheat again. Even if she won’t do it again, the relationship will never be the same – same applies to the guy-
I don’t know what he is thinking, if he was 20 then I can understand but he is a fair bit older now. People say love is priceless, I say that’s bullshit, there is always a price in everything. I guess if all he wanted was the girl to tell him to his face that she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, then I guess the money is well spent. But why? To make the life more miserable for the girl? I know I am contradicting myself by lending him the money and then giving him shit about it, but even though I think his action is retarded but I still believe that if he doesn’t go then he will regret it for the rest of his life. I guess I don’t want to let him regret it for the rest of his life, but I still don’t think it is going to work … what do you guys think?
男人.其實你不懂 (got it from somewhere and it is too good not to repost)
女人不吵了、不鬧了、不叫了，就是真的不愛了
女人說要離開，是傷心了，是你讓他失望了.
女人明知道你們之間沒有未來，卻情願留在你身邊做個普通朋友，不是她太賤，只是她舍不得 .
女人故意在你面前提到別的男人，不是她花心，只是想要刺激一下你，讓你多在乎她一點 .
女人不主動打電話、發信息給你，不是不想你，是她不夠自信，你接到電話、
短信時，是否也同樣的想念她 .
如果女人不愛你，是不會對你發脾氣的，不要報怨自己的女朋友脾氣太怪，女人只對她愛的人發脾氣.
女人不是不知道你還有別的女人，她選擇獨自傷心卻不揭穿你，是害怕揭穿後給了你一個離開她的借口.
女人總是在你面前假裝很開心，不是她沒心沒肺，成天傻樂，只是為了在你面前留下最美的樣子.
男人 其實你不懂
1 她總是問:你在哪呢?你現在在幹嗎? (她很想念你,只是想跟你說說話,你不給她發信息,她很
矛盾,怕你在忙,但又忍不住想你.換了別人,愛幹嘛幹嘛,她不關心.所以請你一有時間就問候她一
下,讓她放心,讓她知道你心裡有她,她不會煩你.她總是主動聯系你,她會覺得她賤.)
2 她說:我不開心了,我好煩. (不要怪她無理取鬧,更不能覺得她在煩你,她不是真的不開心,她只是想你了.只是想要你會來安慰她一下,哪怕是:乖,別鬧了,聽話!)
3 她說:不要感冒了./路上小心./自己多注意…… (不要嫌她煩.因為她知道你不傻,甚至是很聰明的.她只想讓你知道她心裡有你,她很想關心你)
4 她總說自己又長胖了或者長得不夠漂亮. (不要覺得她是在自卑或嫉妒別人,她只是怕自己在你眼中不夠完美.她已經在為你改變了.)
5 她總說她想要幫你,要你有什麼事一定要告訴她. (其實她知道她幫不了你什麼,她只想讓你知道你還有她,她永遠在會你身邊陪你,會一直的支持你,)
6 她看到你跟別的女生親近一些就會生氣,發小脾氣. (別說她小氣,不信任你,她其實是在吃醋,這表示她十分在乎你.即使心裡難受也會自己安慰自己.)
7 無論做什麼她總會征求你的意見. (不是她沒主見,太過依賴你,她只是尊重你,凡事以你為先.)
8 不管在哪裡她總是緊緊的和你站在一起. (她只是在告訴你她信任你.)
9 她愛憂傷,總是會多想. (不要覺得她是想太多,只是有時她會覺得缺乏安全感.)
10 她假裝生氣轉身離開. (其實,她不是真的想走,只是離開的時候希望被挽留.)
11 她會突然冷淡你,或是向你撒嬌. (別怪她孩子氣,她只是想讓你哄哄她.)
12 也許有一天她會跟你說分手. (其實,這個時候她已經喜歡你好久,只是不確定這份感情是不是對的.她只是要你的安全感,你的舍不得,你的不要走……）
